‘Honour’ Killings

Turkey is a country mired in the dominance of a medieval, backwards-thinking, feudal patriarchy, albeit one that has been taking steps to stamp out violence towards women in its bid to be allowed into the European Union.
In 1998, the country’s supreme court overturned a law that criminalised adultery.
In 2004, it introduced mandatory life sentences for those who carry out so-called ‘honour’ killings.
But despite these measures it continues to fail to protect its women and children.

Four out of ten women in Turkey are beaten by their husbands.
Half of all murders are ‘honour’ killings.
In an attempt to circumvent the stiffer sentences, ‘honour suicides’ have mushroomed.
Batman, a town in the south-east of Turkey, has been nicknamed ‘suicide city’.
Three-quarters of all suicides here are committed by women.
Nearly everywhere else in the world, men are three times more likely to kill themselves.
Women who are told to kill themselves are usually given three options: a noose, a gun or rat poison.
They are then locked in a room until they have done the deed.

In Italy, a country where until 1981 ‘honour’ was an ‘extenuating circumstance’ for murder, a young Moroccan woman was murdered last year (2009) by her father for wearing jeans.
In Iran, honour killings are legal.
In Pakistan, a 17 year-old girl who, it was claimed, became pregnant by a man who was not her husband was forced to give birth before having her baby thrown to its death in a canal.
The teenager was then mauled by dogs before being fatally shot in the head.

Violence against women is widespread in all countries.
Every society has things it should be ashamed of.
We have battered wives, domestic violence, child abuse and rape.

Behind Every Successful Man…..

Overheard at the Wimbledon Men’s Only Club.

“When I first met her she had pigtails, now she’s the full hog.”

“She loves to cook with wine. Sometimes she even puts it in the food.”

“Her photograph is bound to distress children, animals and those of a nervous disposition.”

“A woman’s place is in the home, and she should go there straight from work.”

“Talking to her is like playing the violin to a water buffalo.”

“Women are all the same, they all think they are different.”

“The female is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.”

“My wife has left me for my best friend, and I miss him.”

“For every man there’s a woman, providing his wife doesn’t get to know about her.”

“The last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook through it.”

“Behind every successful man stands a woman, and behind her stands his wife.”

“The seven ages of woman – baby, child, girl, young woman, young woman, young woman, young woman.”

“If brains were made of elastic, she wouldn’t have enough to make a knee support for a one-legged sparrow.”

“I never forget a face, but in her case I made an exception.”

Why Does God Allow Suffering?

For those whose faith has been shaken as to why God would permit natural disasters and human suffering, it is actually one of the main topics in the Bible.
It gives clear teaching on why bad things happen, how we are to respond to such events and God’s attitude towards them.
Disasters occur because natural laws created by God for this age have been ‘corrupted’.
The law by which nature operates were created to work properly, but the corporate nature of human sin affected what God created, so they no longer work as they intended.
Whether an individual is good or bad has no bearing on how they are affected by these natural laws.
Ecclesiastes 9:2 states, ‘This is an evil thing that similar events occur to the righteous and wicked alike’.
Romans 8:20 promises that these natural laws will be restored to their perfect state when this present age has run its course.
Scripture repeatedly reassures us that God will redress all wrongs in eternity. Reminding us that not one sparrow is unloved, it addresses those who suffer unjustly by promising, ‘ Not a hair of your head will be lost, I will repay, says the Lord’.
When we see suffering we need to view it from the ‘eternal perspective’, namely that in eternity God will repay down to the tiniest detail.
Many Christians who take the Bible seriously believe the Tsunami (2004) and the shaking of the Earth on it axis was foretold by Jesus in Luke 21:25/26: ‘On the Earth there will be distress with the sea and waves roaring, with men’s hearts failing from fear for even the powers of the heavens will be shaken’.

Banker’s Bonuses

The banks say that if they don’t continue to offer their executives huge bonuses they will leave.

This is an ideal opportunity to replace these greedy fat-cats with decent, honest people who aren’t obsessed with the size of their salary and bonus.



Not Enough Alcohol

Overheard at the annual meeting of the Mitcham and Morden
Male Chauvinist Society.

“The only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won’t do as she’s told.”

“God made man first because he didn’t want a woman looking over his shoulder”.

“If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, you have made her chain too long”.

“We haven’t sent a woman to the moon yet because it doesn’t need cleaning”.

“She wasn’t the best-looking girl there but beauty was only a light-switch away”.

“She offered to help me in the garden, so I tied her to a post and let her graze”.

“After five minutes on a sun bed she smells like fried bacon”.

“Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat bastard cream there’s not”.

“I told her she won’t be able to come near me, my doctor told me to stay away from fatty things”.

“A woman behind a steering wheel is an air bag”.

“She’s much more attractive when she puts her ankles behind her ears”.

“You always know when she has an orgasm, she drops her bag of crisps”.

“There wasn’t enough alcohol in the bar to make her look attractive”.

“She was like a worn out bulb, not very bright”.

Mumps Epidemic

The Health Protection Agency has reported a surge in mumps, with 820 cases confirmed last year in London alone, double the national figure for 2008.
Universities and colleges are on alert as health chiefs warn that infection among the 18 to 25 age group could reach epidemic proportions.
Vaccination was introduced in 1988 as part of the MMR shot.
At first, children were given one jab, but in 1996 it was realised two were needed (at 13 months and again between the ages of two and five) to give proper immunity.
It is those who received just one shot who are now at risk.
The drop in intake of MMR in younger children has meant the virus has re-emerged.
Babies who have not yet been immunised are at risk when there is an epidemic.

Autoimmune Hepatitis

Autoimmune Hepatitis is a disease that could strike at any moment and affects one in 10,000 people.
Autoimmune disorders are the result of the body’s immune system attacking its own tissues, identifying them as foreign substances, and autoimmune hepatitis occurs when the immune system attacks the liver, resulting in severe inflammation.
The medical profession is still not decided on why the immune system acts like this, but doctors believe it may be a genetic susceptibility that can be triggered either by a virus, stress, a reaction to medicine or hormonal imbalance.
If the inflamed liver is left with permanent scars, or cirrhoses, its function can be impaired.
The liver clears toxins from the bloodstream, processes fats and helps digest food, and if it fails a hepatitis sufferer will need a transplant.
The condition is usually treated with steroids to reduce the liver inflammation and immunosuppressant drugs to prevent further damage.
With treatment, the condition can be controlled, but sometimes patients remain on medication for life.

Death Row

At the present time there are just under 3,300 prisoners waiting for execution in the death rows of the United States.
Last year (2009) 52 executions were carried out, almost half of them in Texas.
David Dow is a professor of law at the University of Houston and director of the Texas Defender Service.
Dow says, “The system is lawless. A racist, classist, unprincipled regime, a regime where white skin is valued far more highly than dark, where prosecutors hide evidence and policemen routinely lie.”
Over the past five years 24 men and women have been released from America’s death rows after lawyers proved their innocence.

When A TV Breaks Down

If a television or fridge or other electrical appliance packs up just one day after an initial one-year guarantee, customers are told they have to pay for the repair.
But the truth is that retailers may be liable for up to six years.
The sale of goods act offers protection against faulty goods even when the manufacturer’s guarantee has run out.
The act says goods must last a reasonable time, and that can be anything up to six years from the date of purchase.
‘Which’ magazine asked manufacturers how long they believe different types of appliance should last, and they all said their goods should last five years or more.
Retailers want to sell extended warranties.
Manufacturers know this and they don’t want to rock the boat.
The Department of Trade and Industry says the EU directive requires a two-year guarantee to be given, but UK law in practice provides better protection by allowing consumers to pursue claims for up to six years (five in Scotland).

If your appliance packs up and you don’t think it has lasted a reasonable time, take it back to the retailer where you made the purchase and demand that they either repair it, replace it, or refund your money.
The law is on your side.

My Old Mate’s Wife

My mate said now his wife has a microwave oven she can ruin a meal in 5 minutes.

My mate told me that his wife talks through her nose.
He says she has to, because her mouth is worn out.

My mate says he doesn’t talk in his sleep.
If he does, his wife only interrupts in hers.

My mate says when it comes to preaching economy to his wife, you may as well start by saving your breath.

My mate told his wife to surprise him on his birthday.
She bought herself a fur coat.

My mate bought a book called ‘how to conquer laziness’.
He got his wife to read it to him.

My mate told me his wife had a nose-bleed,
so he applied a tourniquet to her neck.

My mate said he and his wife could settle most of their troubles by discussion if only he could get her to stop talking.

My mate told me he’s working on an attachment for his wife.
It fits over her mouth.

My mate said his wife is a wonderful cook.
Pygmies travel all the way from Africa just to dip their arrows in her soup.

My mate told me that his wife never wears lipstick.
She can’t keep her mouth still long enough to put it on.

My mate’s mother-in-law broke up his marriage.
His wife came home from work early and found him in bed with her.