Behind Every Successful Man…..

Overheard at the Wimbledon Men’s Only Club.

“When I first met her she had pigtails, now she’s the full hog.”

“She loves to cook with wine. Sometimes she even puts it in the food.”

“Her photograph is bound to distress children, animals and those of a nervous disposition.”

“A woman’s place is in the home, and she should go there straight from work.”

“Talking to her is like playing the violin to a water buffalo.”

“Women are all the same, they all think they are different.”

“The female is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.”

“My wife has left me for my best friend, and I miss him.”

“For every man there’s a woman, providing his wife doesn’t get to know about her.”

“The last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook through it.”

“Behind every successful man stands a woman, and behind her stands his wife.”

“The seven ages of woman – baby, child, girl, young woman, young woman, young woman, young woman.”

“If brains were made of elastic, she wouldn’t have enough to make a knee support for a one-legged sparrow.”

“I never forget a face, but in her case I made an exception.”